Ideas: For a Successful, Less Complicated Life!

Is This The Time to Walk Away?

Check out this thought provoking article, I found, on: "Time to Walk Away?", written by: Tom Volkar, the creator of: Delightful Work (Blog).

"One of the most challenging aspects of career transitioning from work that feels like work, to work that you love, is temporarily letting go of the money. It’s just as challenging, when you’re already self-employed and transitioning from an established income stream to one that’s more delightful but temporarily less lucrative.

Even long-time proponents of authentic work can go for the easy money in moments of temporary insanity. I’ve clearly known my core values since 1998 yet just 18 months ago I lost my mind and made a decision unaligned with my values to pick some low hanging fruit. It paid well for a while and I told myself that I’d just work it a few hours a week until I built up a financial reserve. But a funny thing happened, even though financially, my overall situation improved, I began to resent the source of this windfall. I wrestled with myself for months and could not come to a satisfactory decision. So as it often does, life provided a decision for me. I had many less-costly opportunities to let go but I did it the hard way because the fear of letting go was greater than the unknown good on the horizon.

I’m writing about this now because of a comment on my last post on Honoring Commitments from fellow self-employed blogger Cath Lawson. Be sure to visit her blog, for some bold and wise business advice.

Here are the relevant parts of Cath’s comment.

Hi Tom, I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. One of the main reasons I struggle to honour my commitments sometimes, is that I’ll let one horrid task overwhelm me to the point I won’t look at my to do list. It’s something I’m really struggling with. I think I really need to work on getting over the horrid task thing. Most of the ones I dread are connected to a past business. And I think it’s the connections I have the problem with, as opposed to the actual task.

Did you grasp the meaning in her comment? It’s not the tasks that Cath dreads doing but the emotional connections to those tasks. Often when we make a career transition there is residual fallout. There’s stuff we think we need to hang onto and cleanup because it appears to make good business and financial sense. But we all know that appearances can be tricky.

I’m not sure if this is the case in Cath’s situation because I haven’t coached her on it but it certainly was the case in mine. Sometimes it’s better to walk away and forget trying to get over something. Sometimes a clean break is the soundest financial decision.

Once my unaligned decision began to feel like an obligation I should have eaten my losses and made a clean break. That’s what my inner guidance was telling me but I was holding on only for the money and that’s a decision that’s doomed to failure. This once lucrative cash stream became what Thomas Leonard called a toleration." .. [read the rest of this article]

6 Timeless Thoughts on Forgiveness

Here is an article, I found written by: Henrik Edberg, the creator of: The Positivity Blog.

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.”
Dag Hammarskjold

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
Robert Muller

Forgiveness. One of those things many of us struggle with from time to time. But why should we forgive? And how can we go about it?

Here are a few timeless thoughts on forgiveness. I hope you’ll find something useful.

1. Forgiveness sets you free.

”When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
Catherine Ponder

I think this is a great point and one of the best reasons I have found to forgive. It’s easy to get wrapped up in thinking that forgiveness is just about something you “should do”. But forgiving can in a practical way be extremely beneficial for you.

As long as you don’t forgive someone you are linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what s/he did over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and - as a result of your inner turmoil – most often in other people around you too.

When you forgive you do not only release the other person. You set yourself free too from all of that agony.

2. Forgive yourself.

”The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbour as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.”
Eric Hoffer

What you think and feel about other people is pretty much what you think and feel about yourself. This is not something that may always be obvious. But we do tend to judge and think about people as we think about ourselves. A person who, for instance, is very critical of others tends to, deep down, be very critical of him/herself." .. [read the rest of this article]

Three Sure Ways to Create Lack in Your Life!

On September 11th 2008, I found this interesting article, written by: Dick Ingersoll, the creator of: "Applying The Law of Attraction - Membership Library"  (Blog).

"When you try to attract abundance and prosperity into your life, you probably focus on techniques like affirmations and visualizations, as well as staying receptive to opportunities on a daily basis.

These are all great ways of attracting greater wealth into your life, but you may also want to be sure you aren’t counteracting these positive activities with lack-inducing behavior!

Here are three (tongue-in-cheek) ways to attract lack into your life:

1) Keep affirming that you don’t have “enough.”

Every time you allow yourself to feel anxious about your finances, fearful about not having enough money, or resentful because others seem to have more than you do, you are affirming your belief in “not enough.”

If you want to turn this around, you will need to overcome your existing beliefs and change them to reflect an unwavering belief in “more than enough.” Whenever you begin to feel fearful about lack, affirm aloud, “I always have more than enough (money, time, confidence, resources, etc.)” Keep reinforcing this new belief daily, or whenever a lack perception rears its ugly head. It takes pretty strong effort, but if you can push through the uneasiness and affirm with faith that you always have more than enough, you attract a positive flow of abundance.

Another good way to create lack in your life is to:

2) Avoid taking action . . . on anything.

One unfortunate side effect of a lack mind-set is a strong sense of defeat and futility about your circumstances. You feel like there’s nothing you can do to turn it around, so you don’t do anything. Or you do know something you can do to get the ball rolling, but the thought of actually doing it frightens you, so you keep holding back.

In order to break out of this cycle, you’ll need to push yourself a little harder to take focused action. It doesn’t matter on what you take action really, as long as it moves you in the direction you want to be moving. If you want a better paying job, take action on getting one. Apply to better jobs, and ask around about better jobs. Your actions don’t have to be earth-shattering or exceedingly difficult. If it frightens you to think about taking a large step, take a small one. Push yourself out of your comfort zones little by little.

Want still more lack? Then be sure to:"  ..  [read the rest of  this article]

It’s Never The Perfect Time!

Travis Wright , the creator of "Cultivate Greatness | Leadership Training" (Blog) , posts the following article on: "Small Business Tips – It’s Never The Perfect Time".

Many people wait for things to be “perfect” before they pursue their dreams and goals. They wait for the perfect conditions, the perfect attitude, and the perfect time of year. They really want to achieve their goals … but the time just isn’t right.

In business they wait to take action on things they need to do to grow their business until they have their strategic plan in place, until staff turnover settles down, until they stop being so busy, until they get a few more clients. They really want to get around to taking the actions they need to do to grow their business … but the time just isn’t right.

When managing people they really want to tackle the poor performer, the rude staff member, the tardy employee. They want to give recognition to the high performing team member and take time out to plan their team’s projects or tasks… but the time just isn’t right.

Are you seeing any patterns?

Waiting for the right conditions is another name for procrastination which is an excuse for not achieving your goals. By waiting for the “right” time before acting - people accept mediocrity.

People often procrastinate because of fear – fear that they won’t be able to handle the results of their action (either good or bad). They may be afraid that if they have that hard conversation at work the person may cry (or resign). They worry they may not make a difference at work if they try and change things or they may go broke and cause embarrassment to themselves and their family.

They end up paralysing themselves into place, numbing themselves into inactivity.

So if you recognise yourself in these patterns what can you do about it?

… Start from wherever you are.

By that I mean, look at one just thing that immediately needs doing and start there. Don’t try and change the world … just do one small thing which, in the process, will also help you to clarify your direction and goals.

In business, if you need to revamp your brand for business cards … start there. A great graphic designer will ask lots of questions to help you clarify your business direction and goals before they put pen to paper. The act of re-designing your brand will in the hands of a skilled designer, help you to focus on your business goals (and if it doesn’t – find another designer – I know a few great ones!).

If you need to manage staff performance … start there. Part of managing performance is having clear and open discussions about future directions and objectives. The outcome of those discussions is greater and shared clarity about your business direction and goals.

If you need to get some direct mail or marketing out there to draw in customers … start there. A good writer will place your writing in the context of your business direction and will help you to articulate precisely what that direction is." .. [read the rest of this article]

The Need to Be Right Can Blind Us!

Here is a thought provoking article, I found, written by: Lisa Earle McLeod, as was posted on: SmartNow.com

"The pressure may be subtle or it might be full-on war, but there's not a person alive who hasn't felt judged by their in-laws in some way.

Whether it's your father-in-law suggesting that being a freelance designer isn't a "real career" or your mother-in-law giving you lessons on the proper way to load the dishwasher, there's just something about being critiqued that brings out the worst in us.

Go figure.

But in-law feuds - like so many other debates - are often less about people doing things wrong than they are about other people needing to prove that they're doing it right.

Case in point. Whether the son's wife decides that she's going to work or stay home, if it's different than what hubby's mom did, poor mother-in-law often feels like she's being slapped in the face.

It's like every day when the wifey trots off to work, or stays home, she's saying to her mother-in-law, "The way you raised your kids was wrong, and the fact that your son is supporting me in a different choice proves it."

The daughter-in-law might not be saying or even thinking that. But the mere fact that she's doing it differently without someone calling her on the carpet for her obviously egregious behavior is enough to make a mother-in-law feel like her son is indicting her for miserable mothering.

I'd laugh, but I've been on both sides of this one myself. And if I'm truly honest, there have been numerous other instances in my life where my own insecurities and my need to be right have blinded me to another's perspective.

Whether it's the suggestion that perhaps there's more than one way to be a good parent, or the notion that our chosen faith doesn't have exclusive rights to the divine, we can't seem to assimilate multiple points of view.

Yet in many cases, the dichotomy we create in our minds is false.

Last week I introduced The Triangle of Truth©, a new model for solving conflict and creating more peace. Instead of arguing opposing positions on either side of a straight line, or trying to compromise in the middle, The Triangle of Truth© provides a way to reconcile two seemingly opposing points of view by creating a higher-level solution, at the top of the triangle, the pinnacle that's supported by both sides.

For example: It's not the big picture vs. day-to-day chores. Fabulous organizations and successful individuals operate on both planes at the same time." .. [read the rest of this article]

21 Ideas to Simplify Your Life [zh]

On September 7th 2008, I found an interesting article entitled: "21 Easy Hacks to Simplify Your Life", as was posted on: Zen Habits.Net (Blog).

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail.” - Henry David Thoreau

If you’re trying to simplify your life, it’s best to follow the four simple steps I’ve outlined before — it’s just the simplest method.

But sometimes life gets in the way, and you need a workaround, some way to get past your usual obstacles and to trick yourself into keeping things simple.

I use these “hacks” myself (in this case, “hacks” refers to workarounds or tricks to reach your goal), and I’ve found them to be effective in many cases. Please note that you might have read some of these once or twice (or thrice) on this blog before, but I thought it would be a useful resource to gather them all into one post.

Also, don’t try to implement all of them — that would be far from simple. Not all of them will apply to your life anyway. Pick one or two and try them out.

Simple tricks to simplify your life:

1. Three-box decluttering. If you’re trying to declutter a room, drawer, shelf, desk … use three boxes to quickly sort everything. Just quickly go through each shelf or drawer or flat surface at once, putting things into three separate boxes: Trash, Donate, Maybe. The first two boxes are obvious … the Maybe box is for stuff you’re not too sure about — you can put this in storage for a few months and decide later. Put everything else — the stuff you love and use — back neatly.

2. Create a no-distractions zone. This is great for when you want to do some focused work — which is just about every day for most of us. Create a zone with no distractions — no phones, no email, no co-workers or kids or spouses, nothing on the walls, no IM or Twitter, no web surfing. Just the tools you need to do your work and nothing else. You could also create a time within your schedule for this distraction-free zone — say 8-10 a.m., for example. No distractions within that block of time. You can do email and phone calls before and after, but not during. I like this hack for when I need to do some writing but have a hard time concentrating.

3. Create a short-list. This is for the big-picture simplifying. If you’re having a hard time getting your life to something truly simple, create a short list of things you love doing most. This should be 4-5 things. For me, that’s writing, reading, running and spending time with my family. Your short list will be different. Then, try to eliminate everything in your life that’s not on the short list, to make room for the things you love.

4. Deflect all requests for a week. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, make the decision that you will not say “yes” to any new requests this week. If you get a new request, politely decline. If it’s a request you can’t decline, tell them you’ll get to it next week because you have some projects you need to finish this week. Then pick one or two or even three projects (depending on their sizes) and focus on finishing them this week. You can worry about new stuff next week. Repeat this hack when needed.

5. Go schedule-less. This works well if you’ve been over-packing your schedule. Try this: set a policy that you won’t schedule any appointments. This won’t work for some people who have mandatory meetings, but if you control your schedule, you can tell people, “I’m sorry, I don’t make appointments anymore. Call me on that day and we’ll see how things are going.” Leave your day wide open. At the beginning of the day, pick a few things to focus on and try to get them done. If you need to meet with someone, call them and meet." .. [read the rest of this article].

Are you Spiritual Instead Of Religious?

Here is a thought provoking article on: "Spiritual Instead Of Religious", written by: Patricia Singleton, the creator of: Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker (Blog).

"I just looked outside my house to the street to see a bus from one of the area churches dropping off about 5-6 teenagers in the neighborhood to go walking door-to-door to do what that particular church calls soul-saving. I live in the Bible Belt of the South (USA) so this happens quite often. Sometimes it is teenagers. Sometimes it is adults. This is a practice that I have never been comfortable with, no matter what church I was attending at the time.

To me, my spirituality is personal, between God and me. If someone asks, I will talk about it but I don't feel the need to try to "save" someone else. If I want to influence others, I think my actions---how I live my life---is a better way to do that than talking to change someone's mind and beliefs.

I have never felt right telling someone that my religion is better than theirs. I believe how you live your life is more important.

We are all on our own journey back to God. How we get there is up to each individual.

Most of the time that someone comes to my door to discuss religion, unless they were invited by me, gets politely turned away. I don't feel the need to be convinced by them that my beliefs are wrong and I don't feel the need to convince them that their beliefs are wrong. We are each exactly where we need to be in our spiritual journeys.

Someone asked me once why I read and used the information from so many books rather than just following the original 12-Step information that I was given. I think that my answer could also apply to why the world has so many different religions. Not everyone learns the same way. What appeals to me and helps me learn and remember may be different than what you need to learn and remember the same subject. I think that is why we have so many different religions in the world. Different ways of processing need different ways for information to be presented to the people of the world. Does that make sense to you? You may process information, religious or otherwise, differently than I process that same information, therefore, you and I may need the information to be presented in different ways to each of us.

Also, we aren't all on the same page at the same time. That can further complicate things. Different page, different time, doesn't mean that I am any more or less spiritual than you are."

Focus on the "WHAT" Instead of "HOW"

Here is an interesting and unusual article (along with music) on: "Law of Attraction Says Focus on WHAT Instead of HOW", written by: Tupelo Kenyon, the creator of Personal Development Inspiration and Uplifting Music (Blog).

"I need to know how . . . at least I think I do. It must be programming – long established, deeply anchored patterns of thought in my brain’s left hemisphere. The logical, systematic part of me insists upon knowing the step-by-step details of exactly how a thing is to be done.

Understandable, I guess. After all, that’s what school was all about – methodology and left-brain thinking. The attributes and benefits offered by the right-brain were mostly ignored. This was probably due to a large-scale lack of understanding.

The intuitive, touchy-feely right-brain approach to life is a new realization. As more people (and more educators) grow to understand it, I’m hoping our kids will eventually receive a more balanced, holistic education. (For a fascinating and inspiring look at how all this right-brain / left-brain stuff works, check out a previous article and the linked video: “Inspiration from a Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor.”)

According to my current understanding, the right brain interfaces with the world through inner guidance, hunches and feelings, with the help of coincidences and serendipities. All that sounds like an adventurous approach to life, but I must admit it’s not exactly the scientific world view pounded into my head by the educational system.

“Coincidences are a true paradox… on the one hand they seem to be the source of our greatest irrationalities–seeing causal connections when science tells us they aren’t there. On the other hand, some of our greatest feats of scientific discovery depend on coincidences.” - Josh Tenenbaum

The current educational system was designed and implemented by wealthy industrialists whose motivation was to train their labor force to keep the wheels of industry (and their profits) healthy. We were trained to be effective employees – well-greased cogs in the wheel. As a result, much was omitted from our education.

An example of a significant piece of the puzzle glossed over in school is the Law of Attraction. When I think back over my life, I realize how much I’ve benefited from learning about the Law of Attraction. I look around and see the results of my partial grasp of this powerful principle. (For details, see previous article: “The Law of Attraction.)

In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction says to focus clearly on WHAT we want to manifest into our lives and trust the infinite wisdom and inexhaustible resourses of the universe to work out HOW. Even after a few decades of being aware of this powerful principle, my WHAT is still accompanied by thoughts of HOW. They still come as a seemingly inseparable pair.

Peanut Butter and . . . . . . Jelly.
Abbott and . . . . . . Costello.
Pride and . . . . . . Prejudice.
What and . . . How.

I’d like to believe I’m getting better at it, even though I recognize I’ve got a ways to go. Hopefully, the realization that I could do it better is the first step to making it so.

In the past, when I was freshly brainwashed by the system, my thinking went something like this: “I want that . . . but since I can’t see any possible way to get it, it would be easier to just give up and pretend I don’t really want it. So, never mind about that thing I thought I wanted. I’ll try to only want things that I can understand the HOW.” .. [read the rest of this article]

Are You Creating Balance?

Check out this thought provoking article on: "Creating Balance", written by: Andrea Hess, the creator of the Empowered Soul (Blog).

"In times of change, imbalance inevitably occurs in our lives. Temporary imbalances such as intense focus on a new job or relationship actually serve to move us forward in life. In order to create change, we must upset the status quo for a while. Eventually, though, we have to find a new state of balance for ourselves. If we’ve undergone a dramatic shift in our life circumstances, we have to consider that we may have no idea what “balance” now looks like. Nothing is as it was – we are changed. It is tempting to try and get “back” into balance, but we cannot go back to who we were a month or even a week ago.

Here’s a simple way of restoring balance from the perspective of your present life circumstances.

1. What five energetic qualities present themselves most often in your day or week? These are not events! They are the energetic states that the events represent. For example, you may find that you are frequently in a state of stress, or waiting, or expectation, or joy, or stuckness. If you look at the last three or four days in your life, what energetic qualities come to mind?

These energetic qualities might be what we consider positive or negative – imbalances can exist on both sides of the spectrum. For example, an imbalance of “joy” might be that we walk around in a blissful stupor, grinning ear to ear, but not getting much done! An extreme state of joy might be great for a few hours or even a day, but would eventually interfere with our daily life.

2. Looking at your list of five energetic qualities, what would be their opposite resonance? You may feel the opposite of “stress” to be relaxation or peace, the opposite of “need” to be satisfaction or abundance or nurture … there are really no “wrong” answers here. When balancing a positive energy such as “joy,” often the energy needs to be grounded, so you might pick “practicality” as a counter-energy, rather than a negative state. Pick the energetic qualities you feel would most ideally counterbalance what you are prominently experiencing in your life.

3. Can you now think of two or three activities that would evoke each of the five countering or balancing energetic qualities in your life? If you feel needy and the opposing energy is nurture, can you think of two or three activities that make you feel nurtured? If you are opposing stress with peace, what evokes peace within you?

You list of activities gives you a simple recipe for creating energetic balance. You can repeat this process on a weekly or even daily basis. Balance is a constantly evolving state, even as we are constantly evolving."

Embrace Your Inherent Goodness!

Check out this interesting and thought provoking article, written by: Debra Moorehead.

"Some of you are about to experience Déjà vu.

I have received several emails from friends, colleagues, and clients recently who are going through a tough time this summer.

I blame the heat. (92 degrees F right now in Flemingsburg – no wonder we’re all about to go mad!)

I have to admit, I’ve had my bouts of self-doubt the past couple of months as well. Luckily, I’ve learned to ferret out negative emotion and get control of my thoughts quickly. It’s all about developing a habit and being as picky about your thoughts as you would be about your wardrobe.

Right now I’m seeing a pattern with many of you and I figure if it’s going on with this many of my contacts, it’s likely happening to many more of you and you’re just too shy to contact me.

The pattern is this: you’re being too self-critical. Some of you are trying to live up to the expectations of others, whether it’s parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, bosses, spouses, or whoever, and you’ve allowed yourself to believe their evaluation of you, (not good enough), and that belief is cutting you off from your well-being.

Now hear this: There is nothing more detrimental to your ability to live a joyous life, be successful, and accomplish what you know you’re capable of achieving, than a negative attitude toward yourself. So stop it!

I know – easier said than done. Although sometimes just saying, “Stop it,” to myself actually works – if Ireally stop it. I’ll blog about that later.

For today, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to make a list of at least 10 things you like about yourself. I don’t care how small or insignificant you think it might be. When I have my seminar participants do this, I sometimes have to make them put “little” things down. The importance of writing down items you think are too small to mention, is that those thoughts lead to bigger and better thoughts. Here’s an example of how my writing might go in an exercise like this.

10 Things I like about Me: (To prove that it doesn’t have to be a list, I’m going to write this paragraph style.)

I’m gorgeous, I’m smart, and I’m funny. People always like me and I’m easy to get along with. Of course, I’m modest, too! (There are six already!) I always accomplish anything I set my mind to and I have a wonderful husband who supports me in my decisions both emotionally and financially. (Like buying a new MacBook Pro!) I’m a good businesswoman who’s helped a lot of people through my writing, speaking, and consulting. I love my work and the leverage that working for myself gives me.

I could go on, but I think we’re up to twelve now and I want you to start on your own list. Do you have gorgeous eyes? Do people often compliment you on your smile? Do you provide critical assistance to a loved one? Are you good at your job? " .. [read the rest of this article]