Here is an excerpt of an interesting article, I found on: "Happiness Equals Taking Care of YOURSELF FIRST", written by: Stephen J. Hopson, the creator of Adversity University Blog.
"Happiness is a state of mind. To make your life beautiful, you need to feel happiness inside. So, no, DON’T put aside your happiness in favor of taking care of other people. I know it sounds selfish but we are a nation of people pleasers where we constantly do what others want us to do in order to make THEM happy. How crazy is that?
My take on it is to do what makes YOU happy FIRST and then if people want to adjust, accept or reject you, that’s their business. Our job is to take care of ourselves. Yes, you have to balance it out and compromise along the way, of course. But if you consistently go out of your way to make others happy, allowing your wants and desires to fall by the wayside, guess what will happen?
You’ll experience a range of emotions from depression, sadness, anger, resentment or bitterness. And the funny thing is you’re the one that put yourself in that position! It has nothing to do with the other person. All the other person did was to say what he/she wants and you went along with it.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that myself. I always know when my inner self is out of alignment when I agree to go along with whatever the other person wants just to make him/her happy. It never feels good. In fact, it feels as if I’m stuffing down too much food and than not feeling good afterward.
I can think of many examples like the son or daughter who follows a career path that Mom and Dad set before them. The son wants to be a musician but Daddy demands that he go to law school and join the family business. That sort of thing.
You know I started the raw food diet back in September of 2008. This change of lifestyle made one friend in particular very uncomfortable and she chose to back away in order to “protect herself.” After talking with her in earnest, I realized I had to let her go because I wasn’t going to go back to eating the way I used to just because it would make her happy. After all, it’s my body, not hers!
I’ve learned that when you make choices benefiting your well being and others cannot accept it, well then that’s their choice. Sometimes this means it’s time for you to move on, other times they’ll come around. It’s like the alcoholic who stops drinking and makes the decision not to hang around other boozers because otherwise he’d slide backwards.
So don’t you dare put aside your happiness! Take care of yourself, focus on your well being in every way possible - financial, spiritual, emotional, physical, etc. And then everything else will fall into place.
Look at it this way. If you are happy, genuinely happy, content and at peace, you’ll be more fun to be around and you’ll be radiating inner peace, love and happiness, all of which in turn will attract people of the same mindset.
On the other hand, if you neglect yourself and almost always go out of your way to make others people happy at your expense, then you’ll end up watching the rapid decline of your own health and well being.
Here’s another analogy. It’s like the mother who works constantly 24/7 taking care of her kids and husband but forgets to take time out for herself. At first she doesn’t mind but then she becomes crabby and unhappy. Who wants to be around someone like that? Either people start steering clear of her or she’ll attract similiar people, perhaps other unhappy mothers (remember misery loves company!).
This is where putting your foot down, asking people to pay you for services rendered and establishing boundaries comes in all of which will contribute to your own inner happiness. What’s not to like about that?
Food for thought: Have you ever found yourself in a position where you were forgetting about yourself and focusing on making everyone else happy?"
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