You might have a great new idea you want to develop, a new relationship that seems to be blossoming, a business project that excites you, a healthy lifestyle change you’re implementing, a new book you’re inspired to write…..
You say YES and feel poised to take that next step with gusto and excitement. You might even be along the way in your YES experience and then something unexpected happens that changes the picture you originally envisioned – a business idea doesn’t go as well as you hoped, a relationship falls apart, someone you love is diagnosed with a serious illness, clients cancel and your income drops, you get sick or suffer a injury… Things seem to go awry and might even seem to come to a crashing halt.
All of your positive expectations and intentions come into question. You had felt a healthy balance between your head and your heart, tapped into your inner guidance and you wonder what went wrong especially when things appeared to be going along just fine. You thought you had a clear path to success and you were doing everything right. Even though you tried not to attach to a specific outcome, you realize you did which is why you have feelings swirling – anger, frustration, confusion, disappointment, sadness,….Your mind searches for plausible reasons to make sense of what happened and where you are.
You come up with lots of possible answers that might sound logical. Whether your conclusions are accurate is another story.
Good luck, bad luck or Divine re-direction?
Consider these two stories:
I partnered with a dear friend of mine to commit to a healthy lifestyle. We had both put on unwanted weight and were feeling sedentary with all of our online activity. We decided to initiate making better food choices, regular exercises, and prioritize our self-care habits. We agreed to twice daily accountability to raise the bar on our commitments and we were doing great.
While training for a 26.2 mile marathon, my buddy had a collision with a biker high on drugs one night and the following day had a second fall that resulted in breaking her ankle. Usually operating at full throttle in marketing her business, she was forced to slow waaaaay down and prioritize her healing. What else could she do?
A few weeks later her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She wrote about her healing process and father’s illness, invested in a studying a new course to revolutionize her business, made time for contemplation, reading, and self-reflection. Her injury allowed her to be at her parent’s side and family in the final days of his life. She says that the blessings that have come from her ankle injury, her father’s illness, her study and inner work have been transformative for herself, her relationships, and her business.
While her ankle is mending well, she now has a clearer perspective on her next steps to bring her skills and passions to people who will benefit from her expertise in alignment with her life purpose.
Four weeks after my partner’s injury, I took a tumble during my morning Power Walk. I stepped on something the wrong way, my ankle twisted and I hit the ground hard. This year has been a very powerfull year of transition for me as I have said YES to playing a much bigger game and restoring integrity in several places in my life – health, finances, writing my book, showing up… I was feeling right on track and then, BAM.
The timing really sucked. Or did it?
What happened?
Was I
- Feeling fear of moving forward?
- Using distractions to avoid thinking, feeling, being or doing something?
- Missing the calling of my heart by being so busy?
- Ignoring a call to slow down or have… ???
- Needing more balance with self-care???
- Following ego and fear-based ideas rather than those Divinely inspired?
- Attached to the outcome of what I wanted that was not aligned with the Laws of Divine Timing and Order?
- Holding onto some energy blockages in my body from past hurts that needed to be felt, healed and released before I could fully step into my “what’s next?”
The fact is that when life takes an unexpected turn, to assume that something is wrong or that you have screwed up can block you from seeing and receiving the gifts and blessings of any experience, desired or undesired. You can miss the signals your soul is sending because your ego is creating stories about what is happening to get you to DO something that is motivated by fear rather than Divinely inspired. Being a Conscious Creator requires you to listen and hear the calling of your spirit and then take action that aligns with your Soul’s desires.
My ankle injury caused me to slow down almost to a full halt; to be still and present to be-ing really showed me how much my focus and time is invested in go, go, go and do, do, do. Having to BE caused me to feel things I hadn’t been thinking or feeling because I was too busy DOING. I’m taking the time for self-reflection, healing, surrendering in faith and trust, and opening to a bigger YES to my “what’s next?” in all areas of my personal and business life.
Transitions can feel like being in a void. You are not where you were and not yet where you want to be. Limbo. Your emotions cycle through anger, fear, victim “poor me”, discouragement, depression, resignation, helplessness, confusion, and grief as well as feeling peace, calm, confidence, faith, trust, and love. I have felt all of these feelings and walking through stuff ain’t always easy and pretty.
If you want to get to the second step, you must take the first one. And the way to get to the other side of anything challenging is through the experience, not around it or trying to get rid of it! It can feel like a roller coaster ride because your heart is open and you feel vulnerable. In truth, you are exactly where you are meant to be and each experience is devoted to your healing, evolution, personal growth, and soul awakening.
Through the journey of awakening that you begin to release the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, shadow parts and identities that have blocked who you really are. In the releasing of who you are not, the essence of your true SELF can more fully emerge. This is the soul path of becoming a conscious, deliberate Creator of your life.
No matter what is happening in your life, one important power you always retain in your attitude; how you perceive things favorably or unfavorably from an expansive or constricted lens.
Important questions to consider:
- How is this serving me to grow and awaken?
- What am I being challenged to do? To feel, heal, transform, release, forgive?
- Who am I being called to be?
- What is my soul longing to express and create in this situation?
- What is asking to be birthed?
- What am I resisting, ignoring, or avoiding?
- What do I fear? (Is it true?)
- In what do I totally trust?
- What is mine to do or be right now?
When your life seems to veer in an undesirable direction, having tools to navigate can be the difference between feeling like a victim or the champion of your life experience.
Five tools to navigate life’s unexpected opportunities
1. Stop. BREATHE. Surrender to what is. Whether you like what’s happening or not does not change where you are. “It is what it is.” The more you fight against what you resist, the more energy you give it. Resist the urge to say YES to mind-numbing, emotion stuffing activities that distract you from feeling and being where you are in the present moment. When we try to outrun, avoid, or shut down the feeling that are ready to be expressed and released, we create more inner turmoil within ourselves because there is no outlet to let go. What we resist, persists. Remind yourself that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
2. Look for opportunities to be in service to others; joyfully and selflessly help others to succeed for the pleasure of giving rather than for “getting”. It is the giving to others that we simultaneously receive. When I feel in constriction and fear, I know I am disconnected from Source and Divine flow. Extending a hand in generosity and love creates expansion, opening your heart to receive all the gifts, blessings, and miracles that have your name on it!
3. Open to Divine guidance and insights through your spiritual practices. Commit to daily meditation, inspirational readings, contemplative practices, journaling, or walks in nature to commune with your SELF for insights and guidance. Be patient in receiving answers so you can feel and listen without resistance or judgment. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude, faith and trust by focusing on all that is right in your world rather than what is missing. Celebrate how rich your life truly is.
4. Maintain healthy boundaries and self-care routines. Pay attention to when you need to say yes or no to show up for yourself and those you love without having to be in sacrifice. Keeping self-care regimes such as exercise, healthy nutrition, drinking water, plenty of rest, breaks as needed, morning papers, journaling…..will keep you energized, focused, and at your best. Healthy boundaries and self-care will help to manage and minimize negative self-talk, self-sabotages, and fears.
5. Surround yourself with safe, healthy people who love. respect, and support you. Ask for help and allow the people who care about you the opportunity to show up for you in whatever way they can. Too often, we isolate from others because we don’t want to burden them, we’re used to working things out ourselves, we fear rejection…whatever reason holds you back from asking and receiving love, get over it. Do yourself a favor and let the love in!
This is the path of grace and a journey of courage. And when you have those times when you unconsciously forget why you are really here and things aren’t going the way you want, take heart in remembering that the Universe continues to conspire in your favor to help you wake up either with a gentle nudge or a kick in the pants.
What signals are you ignoring?
This guest post was written by: Lorraine Cohen, the creator of: Powerfull Living (Blog).
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